Prayer: Week #3

What Might Be Getting In The Way Of Hearing God

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to hear from God so clearly, but you sturuggle to hear His voice?

Through my work and the retreats I lead, I've had the opportunity to get to know so many women and hear their stories. One thing that comes up often is prayer. I've talked with women who love God and pray regularly but still struggle to feel like they're hearing from Him. These conversations have taught me a lot about prayer and some of the things that can get in the way.

So let's talk about some of the reasons we might struggle to hear from God.

1. We Don't Believe God Really Wants to Talk to Us

One conversation that has stayed with me was with a woman who felt like she never heard from God. I asked her, "Do you believe God wants to talk to you?"

She thought for a moment and said, "I feel like God has a lot more important things to do than talk to me."

Her answer made me wonder how many of us feel the same way.

I think what is really at the root of this is that we feel unworthy. There are other people doing more important things that need God's attention. 

Here's what I want you to remember: God doesn't have limited time or attention. He can care about everything happening in the world and still care deeply about what's happening in your life. And believe me, He does!

Psalm 139 reminds us just how deeply God loves us. He knows everything about us—our thoughts, our struggles, our fears, and our hopes—and He loves us completely. And because He loves us so much, He wants to guide us. He wants us to know His heart, recognize His voice, and experience the peace that comes from walking closely with Him.

Think about someone you love dearly. Imagine how it would feel if that person believed you didn't have time for them or didn't really want to talk with them. Wouldn't you want to take them by the chin, look into their eyes, and say, "I love you! I love spending time with you. I love talking with you. You matter so much to me, and I want you to know that."

I wonder if that's a little like what God wants us to understand. He isn't annoyed when we come to Him. He isn't too busy for us. He wants us to have a personal relationship with Him. You are deeply loved, you are known, and God wants you to hear His voice—not because you have to earn His attention, but because you already have His heart.

You don't have to earn His full attention. You already have it!

2. We're Angry at God

I've also learned that sometimes our anger can make it difficult to hear from God.

I was talking with a woman who had experienced a painful family trauma. As she shared her anger toward certain family members, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to ask, "Are you angry about anything else?"

She stopped and said, "I'm actually angry at God. He could have prevented this."

I encouraged her to talk honestly with God about how she felt.

A little while later, while we were walking together on one of our pilgrimages, she told me she'd done just that. She realized God hadn't stopped speaking to her, but that she'd just been so caught up in her anger that she wasn't listening. It makes me wonder what she might have been missing all that time and how often we do the same thing.

Sometimes we're so focused on what we think God should have done that we stop being open to what He wants to show us.

But God isn't afraid of our difficult questions or strong emotions. Just look at David in the Psalms. He regularly brought his sadness, frustration, and questions to God.

You don't have to hide your anger from God. Talk to Him about it. Being honest with Him can be an important step toward healing.

3. We're Disappointed by Unanswered Prayers

I'll never forget hearing why a friend had stopped praying when she was just a child.

She had prayed that her grandmother wouldn't die, but she did. Later, she prayed for a sick friend to recover, but that didn't happen either.

So she decided prayer didn't work.

Years later, she began to understand that she'd connected her belief in God to whether He answered her prayers the way she'd hoped.

I think we can all relate to that struggle. When things don't turn out the way we hoped, we sometimes wonder if God really cares.

But prayer isn't about convincing God to follow our plans. It's about telling Him what we're hoping for while learning to trust that He knows what's best.

Even Jesus prayed, "Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39).

That doesn't mean disappointment isn't painful or that we'll always understand why things happen. But Philippians 4:6–7 reminds us that we can bring our requests to God and experience His peace, even when we don't get the answers we hoped for.

4. We're Avoiding Something God Wants Us to Address

Sometimes there's an area of our lives that needs attention. Maybe we know it but don't want to deal with it, or maybe we don't even realize it.

We might be holding on to unforgiveness, struggling with comparison or envy, carrying shame, or continuing a habit we know isn't healthy.

And sometimes, when we don't want to deal with these things, we don't want to hear what God has to say about them either.

I love the prayer in Psalm 139:23–24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! ... and lead me in the way everlasting!" (ESV)

What if we regularly asked God, Is there anything in my life that's getting in the way of hearing from You or living the way You want me to?

Remember, God doesn't reveal these things to shame us. He loves us and wants to help us grow.

5. We Have the Wrong Picture of God

If you see God as a harsh judge who's just waiting for you to mess up, it's going to be difficult to have an honest conversation with Him. And when we're afraid of what He might say, we may not be very open to hearing from Him either.

But that's not the picture Jesus gives us.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. After making some terrible choices, the son returns home. And what does his father do?

He runs to meet him!

That's the heart of our heavenly Father. He loves us, welcomes us, and corrects us when we need it, but always out of love.

When we understand who God really is, prayer becomes less of an obligation and more of an opportunity to spend time with someone who loves us more than we will ever know.

My hope and prayer is that as you become aware of the things that might be getting in your way of hearing God’s voice, you’ll bring them to Him. Talk with Him about what you’re experiencing and ask Him to help you work through whatever is holding you back and this allows you to experience a deeper, two-way conversation where you not only share your heart with Him, but also learn to recognize and listen for His voice.

Something to Think About

• When you pray, do you make time to hear from God, or do you usually do all the talking?

• Is there something in your heart that's making it difficult to trust Him?

• What's one change you could make this week to help prayer become more of a conversation with God?

• When you pray be expectant that you will hear from Him.