Finding Good in the Hard Things

Happy Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving! Of course, I love the food, family, and time together, but I especially love having a day dedicated to being thankful. I hope you have a wonderful day filled with blessings!

It's easy to be grateful for the good things in life, but what about the painful experiences and mistakes we'd rather forget? Can God bring good from those too?

That brings me to today's topic and a quote I love:

“Shame keeps you stuck in the past. Grace invites you into a redeemed future.”

We all have moments in our lives we wish we could erase. Things we've done, decisions we regret, or painful experiences that still affect us when we think about them.

And sometimes, no matter how much time has passed, those memories can bring back the same feelings of shame, sadness, or disappointment.

But here's something I want you to consider: What if you could look back on a painful experience without allowing it to define how you see yourself today?

I'm not talking about pretending something wasn't hard or trying to convince yourself that something terrible was actually good.

I'm talking about learning to look at your experiences through a different lens.

One that allows you to acknowledge the pain while also recognizing how God may be working in your life through it.

Brain surgeon Dr. Lee Warren talks about how our thoughts influence the way our brains function. When we repeatedly focus on painful memories and negative beliefs about ourselves, those thought patterns can become more automatic and harder to break.

But here's the encouraging part: Our brains can change!

Through a process called neuroplasticity, our brains can develop new patterns of thinking. When we intentionally challenge negative thoughts and practice looking at situations from a different perspective, we can begin to change how we respond to difficult memories.

That doesn't mean we can simply think away our pain. But it does mean we're not necessarily stuck with the same thoughts and reactions forever.

And I love how this connects with Scripture.

Romans 8:28 tells us:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Maybe you've heard that verse during a really difficult season and thought, "Really, God? Because I'm having a hard time seeing anything good in this situation!"

I get that.

I've walked through some painful experiences where I couldn't understand how anything good could possibly come from what was happening.

Then I listened to a sermon by Tim Keller that helped me understand this verse in a new way.

He explained that the good God is working toward isn't necessarily a better circumstance or a happy ending to every difficult situation.

The ultimate good is that we become more like Jesus.

In fact, the very next verse, Romans 8:29, talks about being conformed to the image of God's Son.

That changed how I thought about difficult experiences.

Instead of only asking, "How could anything good come from this?" I began to consider a different question:

"God, how can You use this experience to draw me closer to You and help me become more like Jesus?"

And I think that's a question worth asking, no matter what you've been through.

If you joined our first live teaching session, you heard my friend Sharon share part of her story.

Sharon lost her husband to suicide. It's been the deepest heartbreak of her life, and nothing can make that loss okay.

But one of the things she shared was that through her grief, she's developed a closer relationship with God than she's ever had before.

That doesn't mean she's grateful for what happened. It doesn't mean the pain has disappeared.

It means that even in the middle of something incredibly painful, God has been at work in her life.

The good God brings out of a painful experience doesn't erase what happened, but it can change what happens next.

And I think that's such an important distinction when we're talking about shame.

Maybe you've made choices you deeply regret. Maybe someone hurt you in a way that left you questioning your worth. Or maybe you're still carrying disappointment over how something in your life turned out.

You can't always change what happened.

But with God's help, you can begin to change how you think about it, what you believe about yourself because of it, and how you allow it to influence your future.

You can learn from your mistakes without continually punishing yourself for them.

You can acknowledge that someone hurt you without believing their actions determine your value.

And you can trust that God is still working in your life, even when you can't see exactly what He's doing.

Your past is part of your story, but it doesn't have to determine the rest of your story.

The next lesson is a video I would like you to watch. 

In the video, I talk more about how our brains respond to negative thoughts and why intentionally changing the way we think about difficult situations can make such a difference.

It's less than three minutes long, and I nerd out a little bit, sharing some brain research that I found fascinating!

I really hope you'll take a few minutes to watch it because understanding how God designed our brains can help us become more intentional about the thoughts we choose to focus on.

Something to Think About

Is there a painful experience or past mistake that still brings up feelings of shame when you think about it?

What have you come to believe about yourself because of that experience? And is that belief consistent with what God says is true about you?

Today, I encourage you to ask God to help you see that experience through a different lens.

You might not be able to identify anything good about what happened, and that's okay.

But consider whether God has used it, or could use it, to deepen your faith, grow your compassion, change your priorities, or help you become more like Jesus.

Remember, you don't have to call something good that was painful or wrong. You can simply trust that God is good and that He is still working in your life.