Recognizing Shame

If you watched the Day 1 video on shame, you know that breaking free from shame isn't always a one-time event. Shame can creep back into our thoughts, but the good news is that we can learn to recognize it before it takes hold.

The tricky thing about shame is that we often don't even realize we're carrying it. It can show up in thoughts like, "I'm not good enough," "I should have known better," or "How could God possibly love me after what I've done?"

And when we hear those thoughts often enough, we can start believing they're true. They begin to influence how we see ourselves, how we interact with others, the choices we make, and even how we care for our health.

Over the years, I've talked with women who carry shame because of things they've done and others who carry shame because of things that were done to them. Both can leave deep wounds.

Researcher Brené Brown defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."

I think that definition helps explain why shame can be so damaging. God created us for connection with Him and with others. But shame often causes us to pull away, hide parts of ourselves, or believe we're not worthy of love.

And that pain isn't just emotional. Research has shown that social rejection and physical pain involve some of the same brain regions. While they're not exactly the same experience, it helps us understand why shame and rejection can hurt so deeply.

Here's what I want you to think about today:

Take a few minutes to look back over your life. Have there been times when shame affected your confidence, your relationships, your decisions, or even your health? Are there ways it might still be influencing you today?

You don't need to solve everything right now. Just begin noticing where shame has shown up in your life.

The more we recognize shame for what it is, the less power we give it to influence how we see ourselves and the choices we make.